The Golden Rule

Poor little Ryan came home from school and shared a bad experience from his day. First of all, this morning his class presented their oral presentations for Black History month. Ryan talked about Jackie Robinson, and I thought he did a great job. A volunteer took pictures and filmed the students. Ryan was one of the students featured on the end of the day school news program. Apparently, he found that embarrassing. Then he told me that the lunch lady laughed at him and called him a baby. I was a little confused until Ryan clarified that these were two unrelated incidents.

I made a mix-up when packing the lunches before school. Ryan got something Todd had picked out for lunch, and Ryan expressed his dislike. I imagine it was something like a very whiny "I didn't want those fruit nuggets in my lunch." The lunch lady who was standing nearby addressed his ingratitude and said something along the lines of, "Don't be such a baby." At least, this is the story I get from Ryan. Whatever was said and however it was said was hurtful enough that Ryan broke down and cried telling me the story. I tried to tell Ryan that the lunch lady probably hears whiny, ungrateful kids all day long and might have said something hurtful unintentionally because she was out of patience. But, even when I tried to look at the situation from her point of view, I still can't imagine that her words were justifiable.

It saddens me to hear name-calling. It especially hurts my heart to hear an adult calling a child names. Even when a child is being a little whiny or even a little obnoxious, name-calling has no place. I don't think adults realize how hurtful it is to call a child a "baby" (how often do you hear that??) "sissy" (I heard that one a week ago), "candy" (a new one I heard that over the weekend), telling a boy he is "acting like a girl" and so on.

Later in the evening Ryan brought up the Golden Rule. He pointed out that the lunch lady knows the Golden Rule. (I bet she has at least heard of it.) So, why would she treat someone a way that she wouldn't want to be treated? Good question. I think we are all guilty of saying something we later regret.

I used this as opportunity to remind my boys (and myself) how much our words can affect others. I am reminded of this great quote:
"Unless what you are about to say or do has a high probability for making things better, don't say it and don't do it" (Dr. Glenn I. Latham, "The Power of Positive Parenting").