My Ash Wednesday Sacrifice

I do not observe Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, or Lent. I saw a meme last week that said something to the effect of "I'm Mormon. We do Lent 365 days a year." It made me laugh. And while it is true that we generally avoid the major vices, there is always something we could improve on. I admire those of my friends who make an effort to work on doing something meaningful for Lent. In December I set a goal to get up a few minutes early each day to take time for personal scripture study. I have been successful about 50% of the time (maybe a little less). That's the only goal I have set for myself recently. I didn't even bother with New Year's resolutions.

So I was pleased with myself when I made an unplanned sacrifice last Wednesday. While I was running some errands, I noticed a blood donation truck along my route.

Over the past few years I have felt a desire to donate. I have O- blood, and as a "universal donor" I feel some guilt or pressure to donate. But I don't go out of my way to find a donation site, and it is always an inconvenient time when I happen upon one. Plus, the past three times I have attempted, I was deferred because my iron levels were not high enough.

On a whim I decided to try again. I called home and said I would be a little late. I walked in and got checked out. I passed the iron test with flying colors and was able to donate. It made me feel so good! As I lay there, I decided that it was completely appropriate to be giving up a pint of my blood for someone whose life may depend on it on the first day of Lent, and just a few days before Valentine's Day!

For Brett, From Becca (5/4/12)

This week has flown by for me. We continue our day-to-day routine. This week has been busy with field day activities for the boys. Todd was able to participate on two different days: once for third grade and once for fourth grade. Both boys participated individually in the hurdles. Todd got first place in the Third Grade boys race and Ryan got second place in the First Grade boys race. All of the classes were very competitive when it came to the Tug-of-War. That is my favorite event to watch. The three-legged race has always been favorite event to participate in, and I was pleased that both of the boys let me race with them during the parent participation portion of field day. I would even say that we did a pretty great job (except when Todd paused to say to hi to his spectator brother and friends when we were turning back around).

Ryan begged me to check him out of school after field day today. Many parents check their kids out. About half his class was gone. But I had things that I wanted to do at home. And I honestly think those low-work days when half the class is gone are some of the best. Ryan came home off the bus so cheerful and happy. He clearly had fun this afternoon. It made me feel good to hear him say, "Thanks for not checking me out from school." They celebrated Cinco de Mayo with some snacks and got to watch a movie. I am sure he wouldn't have had so much fun at home.

I enjoyed meeting with Todd's teacher about completing the Fourth Grade math book this summer. It may mean more work for me keeping up with his assignments and tests and encouraging him to continue to make progress. But what else will I be doing? I am also going to try to keep the boys reading this summer. They usually do a good job, but being away from home we will have to make a point to plan reading time into our activities. Vacations are great, but I don't want them to regress too much. And it would be great if they could advance even a little.

I finally had to turn on the air conditioner this week. I held off for as long as I could. There are some times of day when it's not so bad, but it's getting humid also. Today was especially humid. The sun wasn't so strong during Ryan's field day, but it was so humid that I still felt like I was melting.

We had a bit of a downpour last night. I had already been thinking it was time to check the gutters again, and last night confirmed it. Actually, last night I realized that I should have checked the gutters last week. I will work on cleaning them out this weekend. It will be a new experience for me.
Besides being here to clean out gutters and do all the rest of the outdoor maintenance, I also miss being able to call on you to be my bug killer. I had to kill a cockroach last week in the bathroom. I'm sure it would have been very funny to any onlookers. Although, if there were anyone around watching (and laughing) I am sure I would have enlisted their help.

The sago palm is starting to look kind of freaky in an almost obscene way. I'll post a picture later. I'm sorry if you are disappointed about it splitting.

Yesterday the boys and I finally reached our goal of reading scriptures 20 days in a row (110 days this year). We almost didn't make it a couple of times, but we were determined to succeed. We've only reached 20 days in a row once before. We reached our 10 days in a row goal twice before, and I rewarded the boys with a Dairy Queen trip. This time I told the boys they had to reach 20 days before they could earn their DQ trip. If we make it to 25 days in a row they will earn a movie night. On our way for ice cream yesterday I remembered the new frozen yogurt store, Top This. The boys were excited about trying it. It was not as "heavy" as DQ and the boys got to pick out their own toppings. It totally hit the spot.

I made some lentil soup this week. It was so delicious. Ryan loved it too. I will definitely be making it again. Do you think you would eat it? I also made kale chips. They kind of taste like a broccoli, but are light and crispy and almost disintegrate in your mouth. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

Copper ran off on me again this morning even though he got a nice golf course run last night. This is the first time he has run off when I let him out for his morning pee before school. He didn't even wait for us to take him to the bus. I was scrambling to get the boys ready for school and I was trying to get myself ready to attend field day. I couldn't start looking for him until after I got the boys on the bus. I drove around the usual streets with no luck. I asked Mark if he could keep an eye out for Copper while I was at field day, but I decided to stop by the house again. I was just in time to receive a phone call from a woman on Kildare who found him. I don't know what he was doing over there or what prompted him to leave this morning.

I picked up a German book from Goodwill about two weeks ago. I've been flipping through it from time to time. I would love to be able to teach myself enough German to be able to get by on my next trip (2013??).

I'm happy to hear that you seem to be doing a little better on the trail. I really don't want you to give up. I think it you can just get through Virginia it will be a little easier. I'm so proud of you!

Family Home Afternoon

I think it is important for parents to make a point to have faith-based discussions with their families, to teach them about Jesus Christ, to teach them values, to share their convictions, and to have a good time together. Unfortunately, my husband is not really strong in his faith, and it's hard for me to organize formal religious activities like weekly Family Evening Evening.

Last month, some time after a conversation we had about family home evenings, a friend from church came to our home with her family and they shared a lesson on prayer with my family (well, with me and the boys). Todd especially loved it. He loves reading and jumped at the chance to read the scriptures my friend had selected. The boys had fun doing activities that went with the short lesson. And, to finish the evening off, the boys were introduced to a game called "Don't Eat Pete." It is a fun little game that gives the boys an excuse to candy. Score!


A couple of days ago, Todd asked if we could have another Family Home Evening. I love it when children remind parents about what we should doing. I responded enthusiastically, and Todd got straight to work planning a lesson on the birth of Jesus Christ. I gave him some pointers about where to find scriptures that went with his lesson. He wrote out an agenda, drew a picture of the nativity and cut it up to make a puzzle, made up his own game, and selected a few songs for us to sing.

We finally got the chance to have our Family Home "Afternoon" today after church and lunch. When Todd was ready to start he told me that he really wanted Daddy to participate. What thrilled me almost as much as all of Todd's efforts in planning and carrying out this activity was the fact that Brett happily joined us. When Todd started reading the first few verses Brett asked me on the side, "Isn't this a Christmas story?" I answered that, yes, it was, but it's never a wrong time to learn about Jesus. And that was that. We continued with everyone having good attitudes, although Ryan was not still for more than 45 seconds at a time. The boys and I even played "Don't Eat Pete" a little later to finish off a great afternoon.

I am so proud of Todd and look forward to our next Family Home Evening.

Future Missionary

While this approach may not be the most kind, gentle, or understanding, his heart is in the right place.

[Ryan, talking to our next door neighbor Logan and Logan's cousin]
Ryan: Do you go to church?
Cousin: Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Ryan: Oh. Well, you should every Sunday.
Cousin: Sometimes when I don't go, I stay on the couch and watch T.V.
Ryan (somewhat shocked, and very serious): Oh! That's a baaaad idea.

[To get the full effect, you really have to hear Ryan's emphasis. I need a way to bottle Ryan's manner of speech. I haven't been able to record it yet, because he never talks that way on demand. So often when I try to blog about his little sayings I fall short. I just can't convey them the same way without his tone of voice. I love hearing him talk about something he feel strongly about.]

New Year's Resolutions

This past Sunday I taught the lesson in Relief Society (our women's group) at church. It is so much harder for me to create a lesson from scratch rather than using an outline or topic from a lesson manual. However, I feel it went well, though I was only able to share about half of what I came prepared with. The following is a summary of my lesson which I typed up for our monthly newsletter.

At this time of year many of us think about writing New Year’s resolutions. Many popular resolutions include losing weight, getting fit, eating better, managing finances, reducing stress, getting a better job, traveling, etc. While these are worthwhile things to work on, I hope that we do not lose sight of those things that are most important. In the gospel resource True to the Faith we read, “As you seek to be happy, remember that the only way to real happiness is to live the gospel. You will find peaceful, eternal happiness as you strive to keep the commandments, pray for strength, repent of your sins, participate in wholesome activities, and give meaningful service.” We learn this same principle in Mosiah 2:41, where we read that those who keep the commandments are happy and are blessed both temporally and spiritually.
As we set goals to change our behaviors let us keep in mind that we need the help of our Savior Jesus Christ and his Atonement. He can help us overcome our weaknesses and repent of our sins, and change our very nature. As we pray in faith we can gain insight on those things that are most important for us to work on. For some it may be focusing on your family history; for others it may be having more regular scripture study, more meaningful personal prayer, or holding regular family home evening. President Thomas S. Monson said, “When we remember that each of us is literally a spirit son or daughter of God, we will not find it difficult to approach our Heavenly Father in prayer. He appreciates the value of this raw material which we call life…. There is a teacher who will guide our efforts if we but place our faith in Him—even the Lord Jesus Christ. He invites us: ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’” (“Your Eternal Home,” Ensign, May 2000, 52).
I hope that you will prayerfully select one or two things to work on this year that will help increase your faith in the Savior. Do not be discouraged with all of the things that you are not doing perfectly. Rather, recognize the good things that you are doing already, know that the Lord loves you as you are, and that he will help you become more like Him as you put your trust in Him. President Gordon B. Hinckley encouraged us in our efforts saying, “Changes may not be measurable in a day or a week or a month. Resolutions are quickly made and quickly forgotten. But, in a year from now, if we are doing better than we have done in the past, then the efforts of these days will not have been in vain” (“An Humble and a Contrite Heart,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 88-89).

If I took the time to really think about everything I would like to see myself doing differently this year (you know--exercising, blogging more, organizing my photos, sending out a Christmas card sometime this year, writing more personal thank you notes and birthday cards...) the list would be overwhelming. Even the example which I just shared is overwhelming. Rather, I plan to focus on one important goal this year: holding Family Home Evening every week, most likely on a Sunday evening (since I still plan on singing with my chorus group which meets Monday nights). I think the most difficult part will be finding a system for planning our "lesson" each week that will be easy for me to keep up with. Once I find out what works (through trial and error) I feel confident that I will be able to keep it going.

So don't be surprised if you never get that thank you note, birthday card, or Christmas letter and photo this year. Know that I am working on strengthening my family in the gospel but still thinking of you all in the process.

An Evening With the Missionaries

Last Sunday the missionaries asked if they could stop by in the evening and share a message with us. I had thought that it might be a message about how we needed to share the gospel more with our friends and neighbors. To be honest, I was a little nervous about how Brett might receive a message like that. I accepted their invitation to come over anyway, and was glad that I did.

The missionaries are not able to go tracting (door-to-door) after dark, and because there are still hours in the day where they could do some good, they decided to spend some of that time being a support to the members. They shared a message with us based on 1 Nephi 3:7, about how the Lord will strengthen us to do what he has asked.

The missionaries directed much of their words to the boys, and taught this simple message to them. The boys were participating and interacting well with the missionaries, for the most part.

Occasionally, Ryan would say something random (off-topic, of course) that he thought the missionaries might enjoy hearing about. Sometimes Ryan asked them things like, "Do you want to see my room?" or "Do you want to see this toy that I have?" During this time Ryan was also climbing over and between the throw pillows and generally not sitting quietly, although he was still paying attention. I apologized to the missionaries about these interruptions and asked if they experienced this often. They said they did. I replied that at least Ryan had not shared anything embarrassing yet.

The missionaries concluded the portion of their message directed at the children, then told the boys that they were going to talk to Mom and Dad for a minute and ask them a question about the lesson. Todd quickly piped up, "But don't ask Daddy. He doesn't read the scriptures. You can only ask Mommy. She reads the scriptures, but Daddy doesn't." I laughed and observed, "Well, I guess it wasn't Ryan who said something embarrassing after all." Fortunately, Brett does not get embarrassed that easily and he took it well. We were able to move past the awkward moment quickly and still enjoy the rest of the visit.

What surprised me about our visit with the missionaries was how much the boys really enjoyed it. The next day at preschool Ryan said to his friends, "Do you know who came to our house last night? The missionaries!" I also heard him saying this to his friend Maddie the next day as well as a few other people.

It made me realize that I really need to have the missionaries over more often. They were not in our home for very long, but I was grateful that they chose to spend those few minutes sharing a simple message with our family that Sunday evening.

Identity

The topic for this post has been on my mind for a few weeks. It came up at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting last month. We were talking about identity, specifically about how so many mothers struggle with discovering who they are after they have children or remembering who they were before. This comes up quite a bit in groups like these. We (mothers with young children) are reminded to take care of ourselves, figure out what we enjoy doing, take time to do those things, talk with other moms, etc. Our speaker at that meeting was talking about the different roles we have: mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, employees, caregivers, teachers. She also emphasized the role we have of "woman" without the attachment of these other roles. Can we define who we are without including the relationships we have with other people?

I always tend to zone out when conversations lean this way. Not because I don't think they offer some valuable advice. I just don't relate very well. We talked about the speaker in our small group discussion. A few of the women talked about their struggle with figuring out who they were as mothers. I wanted to know if there was anyone who didn't have this same struggle. Am I weird because I didn't lose sight of my self? I shared my perspective--how using my talents and interests with my children, especially with music and reading, helped me maintain them. I was hoping for some reassurance that there were others like me, but I was left with some blank stares.

Since then I have done some introspection. Did I struggle with my identify at some point, and have I forgotten about it already? If not, what made the difference? Am I too simple-minded or boring? Or do I have some strength of knowledge that has helped me know who I am? I like to think it is the latter.

I think it boils down to faith and knowledge of the gospel. From the time that I was little I was reminded of my true identity--that of a daughter of God. Because I am truly his daughter, he created my spirit, and I have inherited divine qualities. This sounds trite, but I know it's true. Each one of us has been blessed with certain gifts and talents. Growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was encouraged to figure out what my gifts were early and to work on developing them. Of course, there are some gifts that we won't discover we have until we are put in certain situations. We discover our weaknesses along the way as well, but we recognize the resources we have to overcome those weaknesses.

Working on programs in the church like Personal Progress gave me opportunities to try new things, to develop my faith, and discover my gifts. I have also learned more about myself and increased my faith as I have served in the church. I have enjoyed developing friendships, learning more about the gospel, and seeing how my talents and gifts can bless others. All of these things have worked together to make my life full.

I have a purpose, a long-term goal of improving myself and returning to my Father in Heaven. I have not lost sight of that most-important goal in the different phases of my life: living at home with my parents, college student, young (poor) married woman, full-time working (not-so-poor) married woman, mother of infants, and my current role as a mother of a preschooler and kindergartener.

It helps that I saw the value of motherhood early on. I have wanted to be a mother from the time that I was a young girl. I knew that it was important to have a good education, and being a college-graduate was was one of my goals as well. But ultimately, I wanted to be able to use my education to help care for my future family. Becoming a mother was always part of the plan, and maybe that was another reason it wasn't so difficult knowing that I could still be "me" and a mom at the same time. I think I would've struggled more if I had not married or had children. Even then, I hope I would have had the faith to recognize that God still had a plan and a purpose for me, regardless of what my plan was.

My biggest struggle has been finding time to work on all of those things that I would like. When my babies were babies it was hard to find time to sing in a chorus. I have been singing in a community chorus for a few years now, but I still find it a challenge to sit down and really practice the piano. However, even with young children I was able to both sing and play on occasion at church.

I keep a running list of things that I would like to do (see, Lisa, I don't think you're so weird in that respect): books I would like to read, recipes I would like to make, projects I would like to sew or cross-stitch or needlepoint, crafts I would like to make, photos I would like to organize and scrapbook, flowers and plants I would like to grow, far-away and nearby places I would like to visit, languages I would like to learn (German and Spanish), songs I would like to play or sing.

Does the fact that I don't have time for all these things right now change who I am or what my interests are? No.

Ultimately, as I focus on my faith, my identity is confirmed. I am a daughter of God. That will never change. The more I focus on strengthening that relationship by praying, studying, and righteous living, the happier I am and the greater is my vision of that which is most important.

Nuggets of Wisdom

I have amazed myself by reading about three books in the last three weeks. I have always enjoyed reading, but don't usually manage to find the time to do it as often as I would like. Last week's book was The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale. It is a retelling of the Grimm's Brothers' fairy tale of the same name (which I had never heard of). It was a sweet book, and I enjoyed reading it. I was kind of sorry when I finished it.

This week's book was Rosanna of the Amish by Joseph W. Yoder. I was given this book by my mom many years ago. In fact, my maiden name is printed on the inside cover. I had never read it, and decided that it was about time I did. It is another young adult book (my prefered genre of late). It tells the true story of a girl raised in the Amish religion. It is told by her son, and describes the life of the Amish from birth to death. It was interesting, and I enjoyed learning a little more about the Amish people and their customs, but the book was not exactly "entertaining". However, there is one paragraph I wanted to share from this book.

I find it interesting that although I have been doing pleasure reading lately when I should probably be doing more scripture reading, I am still occasionally able to find words of truth that speak to me. Often these insights are just what I need to hear. Perhaps I find these nuggets because my thoughts are focused on a particular subject and I pick up on them as I read.

This nugget takes place in the book when Rosanna's husband is chosen to be a minister in the church. The words spoke to me as I consider a possible new calling in my own church.

"Bishop Peachey was especially helpful. He knew from experience what a staggering blow it was to a member to assume the duties of minister, and preach the Word of God without any particular training or preparation. But he assured Little Crist that, heavy as the burden seemed now, as he began to apply himself to the study of the Word of God, and as he understood the Scriptures more and more and became experienced in preaching the Word, the consciousness of doing the will and the work of the Lord would so lighten the load that someday it would transform these burdens into the joy of service.
"Crist pondered these wise and sympathetic words during the days that followed, and they slowly lifted his burden and gave him peace."

This describes my general feeling about callings in church and why I am usually willing to put so much time into them. Though at times it may feel like a burden, I recognize the joy that comes from service. However, before you begin something new there is always a little trepidation and uncertainty as to whether you will be able to accomplish what is necessary. It is sometimes hard to have that hope of joy in your service. But I know that it always does come with time.

Born For Glory

I just finished one of the books in my read-and-pass-along stack, Stranger at Stonewycke. I received it as a gift, and I don't think that the giver realized that this book was the first book in the second trilogy about a family in Scotland, heirs of an ancient castle named Stonewycke. It is an Inspirational (Christian) fiction and is a little cheesy, but was still a diverting, easy read.

The lead male character learns more about his great-great-uncle Digory who had been a groom at the estate. The Lady of Stonewycke admired this man and spoke of him with respect.

"He was not a man of many words or great intellect. But he lived what he believed, and I think it shaped me as a child more than anything else in my life. . . . Digory couldn't help what he did. He was not trying to foist anything off on me. Just being around him was a learning experience. Sometimes he didn't have to say a word. You could see in the way he treated the animals, or in that glowing peace which was always in his eyes, that there was a difference in him not found in the average man. So many in our station of life look down on what they call the common man. But often real commonness lies in those the world counts greater. True nobility is a matter of the heart, Logan. And I can tell you, your uncle Digory was no common man. He was a true aristocrat. When he spoke, every word possessed substance and came from a heart of love." (Italics added)

Similarly, the lead female, after experiencing a change of heart, reflected on what made her own father a great man.

"Such thoughts reminded Allison of the boundless love in his nature that more than equalled his energy, and his hearty laughter, and his capacity to make friends with everyone. She had not allowed herself to notice such qualities of his character before, qualities which made of him no common man indeed, but rather a great one. How much she had missed!"

I really liked these paragraphs and what they said about the things that make a great man. I didn't think much more about it until a day later when Ryan asked me about a magnet on my refrigerator. He asked me what it said. It was one I received after a lesson in Relief Society; it reads, "You were born for glory."

Certainly, I have heard this message countless times as I have grown up. I am a child of God. I am an individual with unique gifts and am important in the eyes of the Lord. He will bless me more than I can imagine as I live faithfully and continue to put Him first in my life. I have also been taught about those individuals who were not great in themselves, but who were able to accomplish great things because they followed the Lord and did what He needed them to. Queen Esther was a great example of a woman in the scriptures who courageously stood up for what was right and saved a nation.

However, thinking about what I had read and about the words on the magnet gave me another chance to think about this principle. I don't need to save a nation to be a great woman. In fact, because I don't think that I ever will have to do that, the words had not sunk in and become personal to me. Rather, realizing that greatness can and often does occur with those who are considered common was eye-opening to me.

It should not have been a surprise. After all, our greatest teacher, Jesus Christ, spent his life in service. And though he was the Only Begotten Son of our Heavenly Father, he was not above washing the feet of his friends. However, because he did so much more than that I think I forgot that I can be great in my own small way by living as a righteous daughter of God.

These thoughts were followed by an experience I had yesterday afternoon. Ryan and I went to eat at Danny's Fried Chicken. I let Ryan pick the table, and we ended up sitting right next to a woman who was eating alone. I saw her look over at us a few times, but didn't think too much of it. (Who can resist watching an adorable little boy?) When she had just about finished her lunch she started up a conversation with us, saying that Ryan looked like a sweet boy and it looked like we had a good relationship.

I had never thought about our "relationship" before. I sometimes worry about what our relationship will be when the boys become teenagers, but talking and spending time with my little boys has been easy. However, I could tell that the woman's words were sincere, and they hinted at a little sadness and regret in her own life. I did not think much of what I was doing that would impress this woman. Ryan and I had just spent our lunch chatting and sometimes cuddling because the restaurant was a little cold, but I also had to remind him to sit on his bottom and eat his food a few times during the course of our meal.

The woman had told me that I was a good mother. It surprised me that such a common experience--watching a mother eat lunch with her little boy--could leave such an impression on a stranger. But it brought home the lesson I was meant to learn this week. In those everyday interactions that I have with my children, my family, and my friends, great things can be accomplished as my actions and words are filled with love and follow the example of my Savior.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16).