MOPS Tea and Testimony

Every year our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group has a special "Tea and Testimony" for one of the meetings. It is always a nice event. It is one of those events when women bring in their own dishes from home and dress the tables up nice and fancy. I volunteered (by default) to be the hostess for my discussion group. I brought in my Butterfly Meadows dishes to set the table, and everyone else pitched in with silverware, tablecloth, cloth napkins, centerpiece, serving dishes, etc. I thought our table looked nice, which was my goal. Imagine my surprise when we exceeded that goal and came away with the prize for best table. I was blown away. There were so many cute and very creative tables. I think ours won because the judges liked the traditional look of the table. Personally, my favorite was the birthday-themed table, but I'm not complaining. This is our "Spring" table:

I put some time in the night before getting things organized. I made sugar cookies and decorated them with every one's initials for place settings. I laid out all of the place settings and serving pieces I would need to bring the next morning. I also made sure to have a variety of herbal teas for those of us who don't drink the regular kind. I was glad that I had offered those alternatives. The majority of the ladies at my table chose from the herbals.

An individual place setting:

We had a good time, as evident by my expression. I was sitting by the "mentor" mom for our discussion group, Joy, a very sweet lady.

The ladies in my discussion group:

I volunteered to organize a special musical number for the "testimony" portion of the meeting. I selected a song by Sally DeFord called "Miracles." We practiced almost every Sunday for about a month and a half before the performance. Our practice paid off. I thought it sounded very nice.

Here is the introduction I presented for our song:

The song I selected for our group to sing at the MOPS tea has a message that I felt was perfect for the women here in MOPS. The composer of the song “Miracles” explained that as a young girl she felt love and a desire to help the whole world, yet she would fight with her own brothers. She wanted to “save the whales,” but she would forget to feed her own dog. As an adult she grew to realize that some of the greatest miracles are those that happen closest to home. It is easy to become overwhelmed by all that we think we should be doing as women and mothers. Perhaps we feel like we should be doing more to make a difference in the world. I would like to remind each of you that you are making a difference in the world. Being kind and loving mothers is one of the most important things that you can do. In addition to making a difference in the lives of your children, I know that you are also helping to create miracles in the lives of others around you. It may not seem like much, but the smiles and kind words you offer make a difference. The support that you lend another mother facing a difficult challenge makes a difference. The meals, childcare, prayers, and more make a difference. Do not underestimate the good that you can and do accomplish each day. Our Savior Jesus Christ performed great miracles serving those close to Him. While we can not hope to do the things He did, we can follow His example by loving and serving the people around us. He will make the miracles happen from there.

Ryan took this photo of me with my "prize" after the meeting. It was such a gorgeous spring day.

I must admit that I was exhausted by the time the tea was over. I had stayed up too late for too many nights in a row. I know that I have used the word "heavenly" before to describe a beautiful day in a hammock. It still applies, especially when it includes a sweet, cuddly boy . . . . Heavenly.

Unfortunately, both Ryan and I later came down with a stomach bug. We had about three sick days between the two of us. At one point, Ryan was so feverish and tired that he fell asleep on the couch. He rarely takes a nap anymore; and he never falls asleep on the couch.

Those who didn't snuggle much (Todd and Daddy) managed to avoid being sick. I still say cuddles are worth the risk!

Identity

The topic for this post has been on my mind for a few weeks. It came up at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting last month. We were talking about identity, specifically about how so many mothers struggle with discovering who they are after they have children or remembering who they were before. This comes up quite a bit in groups like these. We (mothers with young children) are reminded to take care of ourselves, figure out what we enjoy doing, take time to do those things, talk with other moms, etc. Our speaker at that meeting was talking about the different roles we have: mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, employees, caregivers, teachers. She also emphasized the role we have of "woman" without the attachment of these other roles. Can we define who we are without including the relationships we have with other people?

I always tend to zone out when conversations lean this way. Not because I don't think they offer some valuable advice. I just don't relate very well. We talked about the speaker in our small group discussion. A few of the women talked about their struggle with figuring out who they were as mothers. I wanted to know if there was anyone who didn't have this same struggle. Am I weird because I didn't lose sight of my self? I shared my perspective--how using my talents and interests with my children, especially with music and reading, helped me maintain them. I was hoping for some reassurance that there were others like me, but I was left with some blank stares.

Since then I have done some introspection. Did I struggle with my identify at some point, and have I forgotten about it already? If not, what made the difference? Am I too simple-minded or boring? Or do I have some strength of knowledge that has helped me know who I am? I like to think it is the latter.

I think it boils down to faith and knowledge of the gospel. From the time that I was little I was reminded of my true identity--that of a daughter of God. Because I am truly his daughter, he created my spirit, and I have inherited divine qualities. This sounds trite, but I know it's true. Each one of us has been blessed with certain gifts and talents. Growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was encouraged to figure out what my gifts were early and to work on developing them. Of course, there are some gifts that we won't discover we have until we are put in certain situations. We discover our weaknesses along the way as well, but we recognize the resources we have to overcome those weaknesses.

Working on programs in the church like Personal Progress gave me opportunities to try new things, to develop my faith, and discover my gifts. I have also learned more about myself and increased my faith as I have served in the church. I have enjoyed developing friendships, learning more about the gospel, and seeing how my talents and gifts can bless others. All of these things have worked together to make my life full.

I have a purpose, a long-term goal of improving myself and returning to my Father in Heaven. I have not lost sight of that most-important goal in the different phases of my life: living at home with my parents, college student, young (poor) married woman, full-time working (not-so-poor) married woman, mother of infants, and my current role as a mother of a preschooler and kindergartener.

It helps that I saw the value of motherhood early on. I have wanted to be a mother from the time that I was a young girl. I knew that it was important to have a good education, and being a college-graduate was was one of my goals as well. But ultimately, I wanted to be able to use my education to help care for my future family. Becoming a mother was always part of the plan, and maybe that was another reason it wasn't so difficult knowing that I could still be "me" and a mom at the same time. I think I would've struggled more if I had not married or had children. Even then, I hope I would have had the faith to recognize that God still had a plan and a purpose for me, regardless of what my plan was.

My biggest struggle has been finding time to work on all of those things that I would like. When my babies were babies it was hard to find time to sing in a chorus. I have been singing in a community chorus for a few years now, but I still find it a challenge to sit down and really practice the piano. However, even with young children I was able to both sing and play on occasion at church.

I keep a running list of things that I would like to do (see, Lisa, I don't think you're so weird in that respect): books I would like to read, recipes I would like to make, projects I would like to sew or cross-stitch or needlepoint, crafts I would like to make, photos I would like to organize and scrapbook, flowers and plants I would like to grow, far-away and nearby places I would like to visit, languages I would like to learn (German and Spanish), songs I would like to play or sing.

Does the fact that I don't have time for all these things right now change who I am or what my interests are? No.

Ultimately, as I focus on my faith, my identity is confirmed. I am a daughter of God. That will never change. The more I focus on strengthening that relationship by praying, studying, and righteous living, the happier I am and the greater is my vision of that which is most important.