Same But Different

Today during church I couldn't help but notice how my boys entertain themselves in such different ways, indicative of their different personalities.

Ryan is quite the snuggler, and having his mother sit still for a full hour invites his attention. Today was no exception, and for most of the meeting Ryan was leaning against me or had his arm around me. Ryan also spent some time doodling. This, naturally, led to taking apart his pen, playing with the insides, putting it together without the grip, playing with the grip, taking the pen apart again, and finally assembling it back properly. Next, he investigated my pencil case, saving a piece of gum for after the meeting, straightening a paper clip, twisting it around, breaking it in two, and he finished off by playing with two thumb tacks.

Todd loves games. We have two small dry-erase board notebooks from the Dollar Tree. They were Christmas presents from my nieces. These notebooks are perfect for church. The past few weeks Todd has tried to initiate a game of hangman with me or Ryan and has ended up frustrated when neither of us would play. Ryan simply isn't that interested. I try to tell Todd that I will play a game with him at home, but when I come to church I want to listen to the message. Playing hangman is a little too distracting for me. Todd will often ask me to come up with a page full of math problems for him to work on. It used to be addition or subtraction. These days he asks for multiplication problems with a few division problems thrown in for fun. Today Todd used the dot-to-dot page in his wipeable notebook to make mazes. He still wanted to play a game with me, but it wasn't that distracting because it took him so long to create the maze. I was able to do the maze pretty quickly and without talking. The first few mazes Todd made were pretty simple. Then Todd had to make it more challenging, similar to a video game. First I had to get the shield, then I could go back and make it through the poison traps without getting killed.

Despite their differences, Todd and Ryan can play together nicely. Sure, they have their moments when they need a break from each other or when they are interested in doing different activities. More often than not, they realize that having a brother to play with is a great thing. This morning while I was getting ready for church the boys built a blanket fort in the family room. Since it has turned out to be a day of non-stop rain, I am glad that I let the boys keep the fort up. They have been playing together for the past hour since lunch--speaking kindly and fairly softly, cooperating with their plans and games, and using their imagination.

Watching them and listening to them play together warms my heart. I am so grateful that they are so close in age (16.5 months) and that they have continued to be buddies. My hope for them is that they will continue to be great friends as they get older--especially in high school when differences can drive people apart so easily. As adults it can be easier to recognize the value in having people who approach the world from a different perspective. I hope that each of my boys will appreciate their differences and see the strengths and value in his brother.