Light Reading

Last month I checked out a (non-fiction) book from the library called, Confessions of a Slacker Wife. I noticed another book in the same section called "Mommy Wars," which I went ahead and checked out at the same time.

The "Slacker Wife" book is about the expections women put on themselves, or the expectations they feel the need to meet. The author talks about how she gives her self some slack. I found myself respecting her more for some of those decisions. For example, she "admits" to not going overboard in planning her one-year-old's birthday party complete with the perfectly clean house, fancy foods, clowns, jugglers, bounce houses, expensive party favors, etc. [I returned the book a week ago, so I'm going off memory now.] It was a good reminder to me to look at what I am doing and make sure I am doing things for the right reasons.

For example, do the kindergartners in Todd's class really care whether I bring homemade heart-shaped cinnamon sugar cookies to the Valentine's Day party tomorrow? Or would they be just as happy with the chocolate chip cookies my husband suggested? Honestly, I'm sure they'd be fine with the chocolate chip cookies, but I've already made the dough for the sugar cookies. It's Valentine's Day--they need hearts! . . . Obviously, I could use to be more of a slacker wife in some ways.

Mommy Wars was a collection of essays written by almost thirty women who tell their story about how they ended up becoming a full-time working mom, part-time working mom, work-from-home mom, or stay-at-home mom. The woman who collected these essays explained that she was concerned about the conflict between mothers who work and those who do not. She wanted to hear from women in all working situations and learn more about why they made the choices they did. As someone who has always wanted to be able to stay home with my children, I was interested in gaining more understanding for those women who chose otherwise. Most of the women who wrote were from large cities and had high-profile careers before having children. The more I read, the more frustrated I became. I kept expecting to read an essay with a similar story to my own. It wasn't there. Perhaps I am not part of the intended audience. I am not a feminist. In addition, I feel that prayer should play a huge role in the decisions I make. But am I less intelligent, capable, and important because I generally believe in traditional gender roles?

I do not regret reading this book. It made me think, and I did come to respect the way some of the women thoughtfully made decisions about balancing and timing work and family. However, I still feel the need to write my own essay from a stay-at-home mom who aspired to be a stay-at-home mom (and who isn't going crazy and doesn't wear sweatpants everyday now that she has become one).

I was able to talk with a stay-at-home mom who was visiting from Manhattan shortly after I finished reading this book. We had quite an interesting conversation. I asked how she felt being a stay-at-home mom in New York where these "Mommy Wars" can apparently get pretty nasty. I liked her answer. She said that people will disrespect you more when you are insecure about your own decision--regardless of what your decision is. She is confident that she is doing what is right for her own family, and because people see that she is confident in her decision they respect her for it.

I was kind of worn out after reading so much feminist mommy material in a fairly short time. I needed to switch gears. I started out by watching a four-part English movie called North and South, based on a novel by Elizabeth Gaskell. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially since I was unfamiliar with the story. Later that week I stayed up one night and read Austenland (again). I needed something light and fun--no thinking required. This fit the bill. I was having a great reading this light romantic fiction, so earlier this week I read The Wednesday Letters.

I could have kept going and going with the easy romantic fiction that I love. I almost wish that I had picked out one more romantic novel for this weekend, being that it is Valentine's Day and I am likely to find more mushy romance in a book or movie than in real life. However, I decided that I needed to challenge myself with a little variety. I could read my sweet romances all the time, but whenever I read a different genre I am glad that I did. Even though it may be more difficult for me to get through, it feels good to be thinking about something I normally wouldn't.

The book that I just started, To See Every Bird, was a gift from my mom. It is a biography of a man who was a "big lister" in the world of birdwatching, written by his son. The son describes the obsession that his father had. As an amateur backyard birder, I am enjoying reading some of the history of birdwatching. I can tell you now, I will never be a "big lister". The commitment that it takes to see thousands of birds is mind-boggling--but interesting to read about.

What have you been reading lately? Can you recommend a good romance? I'll probably be ready for another one after reading my non-fiction birding book. [Please keep in mind that when I refer to the romantic movies and books which I love, I hope you know I mean the sweet and tender Jane Austen type of romances--not the Harlequin type.]